Hamas Announces Pride Month Kick-Off Party On Roof Of Very Tall Hotel

USA Palestine

GAZA — Hamas leadership proudly announced Wednesday that their Pride Month festivities would soon start with a wild party where anything goes. The location? The roof of a very tall hotel where they can do the best kicking-off.

“We are honored to start Pride month with a kick-off of many, many homosexuals,” said elusive Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar. “We will have the biggest kick-off from this roof as is humanly possible. We invite all Queers for Palestine to come join in being kicked off.”

According to IDF intelligence, the extremely tall hotel will be decked out with Pride flags, rainbow-colored streamers, and a magnificent LED light show in an effort to attract as many homosexuals as possible. An invitation has been extended to Sir Elton John to MC the event, though sources indicate it is unlikely he will accept.

“Like moths to a flame,” Sinwar said with pride as he put the finishing touches on a banner that reads, “Gay Stuff On Roof!”

The local gay community is reportedly cautiously optimistic ahead of the festivities. “I really don’t want to be kicked off a roof again,” said local gay man Hamzah “Hammy” Hamas, “But I’m kind of interested in how they decorated this year.”

Hamas leadership has advised all the normal people to stretch their legs ahead of the party so no one strains their quadriceps.

At publishing time, the UN nominated Hamas leadership for a Nobel Peace Prize for their ongoing efforts to incorporate the LGBTQIA+ community in their activities.

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